Many of us are aware of how easy it is to spot a school age boy with ADHD. They often stand out like the Statue of Liberty; only instead of holding a beacon of light they are more likely to be banging a bass drum in annoying fashion, while also presenting a unique combination of appeal and annoyance. They may require additional attention and assistance at any given moment.
The opposite may be true for female students who try to cope with ADHD. Their struggles passively lurk in the shadows. Seldom a banging drum or blatant annoyance to be registered. Some of their coping strategies are based on social norms and expectations, thus disruptors such as, distractions, daydreaming, disorganization, hyperactivity, impulsivity may be masked or bottled up. The problem may go unnoticed and unnamed until years into adulthood.
In adulthood, performance expectations increase, hormonal changes emerge, demands on time expand and for some the demands of motherhood emerge. ADHD disruptors are difficult elements to mask or repress in adulthood and they may cause an upsurge in confusion, emotional distress and a decrease in overall functioning as demands on time and performance increase and life long coping strategies become less effective. Role or identity may become less clear or confusing.
Many women who are diagnosed with ADHD well into adulthood report feelings of low self-esteem, job performance struggles (accuracy, poor time management and planning, limited self-discipline, tardiness, interpersonal conflicts, lack of motivation, problems concentrating and remembering tasks), depression and/or anxiety and difficulties managing and coping with daily demands on time and personal relationships.
I can only assume the battle may feel intense and overwhelming at times, especially if it is a battle fought alone.
There are alternatives to be explored, learned and hopefully utilized. It starts with getting the right diagnosis. It begins with a conversation with a professional (primary physician, psychologist etc.) who can provide a diagnosis to determine the best treatment pathways. Medication is typically the first line for treatment of ADHD. Counseling and or coaching can help with the management of symptoms and development of new coping strategies and skills. In addition, Neurofeedback, Body Work, Mindfulness exercises and physical exercises may be helpful options for some.
You may stand in the shadows for as long as you wish, but why should you?